7th Episode [Phone calls]

[bamboozler]

[Phone calls locked to aristocracy!]

[Welcome to the 1950's. Mr. Panda is a successful banker and father known around town as a jovial and, unfortunately, clueless man. His biggest successes are Bearbank, his little princess Pilouette, his very dear daughter Toph...and, eh, there might be a third child in the middle there somewhere. Maybe.

Now that he's made his wealth, he spends a lot of his time gossiping! So if you're in the aristocracy and/or on good terms with Panda, you might get one of the following phone calls.]

[Night One]

Hello, hello...! Do you ever want to pick up a really awesome talent, even if it means you have to risk your life to learn it? Is there anyone in town like that?

[Night Two]

Hello, hello...! Don't mind me, just go ahead and start talking! Ah! But first, don't you get a really good feeling when you say "Mr. Panda" out loud? It's great, isn't it?

[Night Three]

Hello, hello...how do you think I should get beautiful women to fall in love with me without even trying? With Pillo and Toph and the other at the dance, I realize it's very quiet around here...

[Option 4]

[On night one, two, or three, Panda is still going to call your character...but what he talks about will be a total surprise! Are you brave enough to take that call?]

[OOC; Since Panda is physically using a phone for this post, this post is only open to rich people and people he might know (teachers, doctors, bank customers...). Sorry. If you pick option 4, just tell me what night and I'll have Panda come up with something just for your character. o7]

Comments

[bamboozler]

Hmm...I'm just as interested in the back as the front, Mr. Horner.

[What a sly dog Mr. Panda is. ...Maybe he's trying to show off a little. He's a people pleaser.]

[originaljackass]

[Ah. Well. He should have expected no less...]

Then what you need is to simply call up the newspaper. Ask for a classified ad. Single, rich banker looking for attractive woman. Be sure it gets circulated among Lowtown. Money is your most attractive feature, so you should be sure to flaunt it.

[bamboozler]

Hmm...is my money really my best feature...? Don't you think my best feature is how I still look so young after all these years? My looks are highly ranked, too, right?

[originaljackass]

... I don't know. Have you thought about shaving?

[bamboozler]

I shave every morning...ah, maybe it's my height that's the problem...

[He has no idea he has fur. He's just a normal person.]

Hey, hey, do you know any girls that might be interested? That would be easy for someone like you, right?

[originaljackass]

Well there is Adalinda. She might be just your type. [Lower class, but desperate to be rich. She'd be perfect.]

[bamboozler]

Adalinda...! What a cute name! It's almost as cute as mine...what's she like?

[originaljackass]

Oh you know, the typical blonde beauty. She was made for the rich life. I'm sure she'd find you incredibly attractive. But I'd wear black, if I were you. It's more slimming.

[bamboozler]

That's a good idea. I should really go on a diet, but it's so hard when you've got all this money...so, tell me more about her. Is she tall?

[originaljackass]

Very tall. I'd put her at five ten with a pair of legs that never seem to end.

[bamboozler]

I love legs...! They're nice and long, just like bamboo stalks! When can I meet her? Where does she work?

[originaljackass]

Well, I'll have to talk to her, Panda. See if I can't have her go make a deposit at your bank.

[bamboozler]

Ah, so she has an account my bank, is she? I didn't know that, but we have so many people to keep track of...

[originaljackass]

Or she may be opening an account soon. If she does, I'll have her ask for you explicitly.

[bamboozler]

Ehh...but didn't you say she doesn't have a lot of money?

[He doesn't get most of what's being said to him. How he was ever married long enough to have three kids is a mystery.]

[originaljackass]

Mr. Panda, you are thinking about this far too much. Just relax. Your old pal Horner will get you fixed up, don't worry.

[bamboozler]

Aaaah, thank you, thank you! I knew it was a good idea to count on you, Mr. Horner. You're so good with the ladies...! And so handsome, too!

[originaljackass]

It's true. It really is too bad for the women of Luceti Valley that I'm already spoken for.

[bamboozler]

It might be a loss for the women, but the men will always have you and your advice! That's a good thing for us.

[originaljackass]

Too true. It's the least I can do for all those years when I deprived my fellow men of the finest in women.

[bamboozler]

Is it hard for you, not being in the game anymore? It's been so long since my last marriage that I can't remember myself.

[originaljackass]

Anya is a peach and I'd hate to lose her. But now and then, it would be fun to enjoy the challenge of the pursuit.