6th Episode [Video]

[bamboozler]

[When Panda wakes up, he knows right where he is immediately. He has those same wings that aren’t quite cute enough for a panda. He recognizes where he is, too. He’s not far from the same building he lives in. Yep, everything is normal so far...except it’s a bit hotter than normal. Maybe he accidentally hibernated? That would explain why he’s been dreaming about home for so long! Almost like he’s been back for more than a few months. But that would be silly.

Of course, if he needs food, he has to check his room. And when that’s empty, he head’s to Shinji’s place. It’s also empty. He almost goes into Pilouette's room, but that's just asking for a vacuuming and it's too hot for that. That’s when things go from bad to worse and a panda who doesn’t know he’s been gone addresses the network. For those who know him might recognize that he’s a bit quieter than usual. That won't last long.]

...Shinji-kun is gone. It doesn’t look like he left anything behind.

[Translated: Shinji isn’t home right now. There’s no bamboo at all. Despite the video being on, Panda is fixed on something in the distance instead...]

I'm sure he doesn't want us to be sad, even if he looks like he is all the time. Instead, he probably wants us to talk about me. [The panda sighs dramatically. It's so tough, being comforting...!] It's getting really hot really quickly, isn't it...? That's not good for my fur at all. Eh...it's so much effort to be cute sometimes.

[He looks down at the journal recording him...is he sad? It's hard to tell sometimes, but he sure looks sad. Before he closes it, he makes one last confession.]

I'll be in Shinji's bed if anyone needs me. I don't really feel like walking anywhere, so someone should bring me some bamboo, right?

[And then he shuts the journal and turns to look at Penpen-san, a pretty clear indicator that Shinji isn't back home. They can make their own fun now that Shinji is gone.]

[ooc; forward-dated to a sane time on the 5th!]

Comments

[bamboozler]

I...I woke up from hibernation! I didn't go home!

[He doesn't want to believe it. :(]

Please bring me some food? If you do, I won't leave fur all over your room, o-okay?

[But mentioning going home...he doesn't want to think he's been there and back. He's a bit nervous.]

[ribbonbon]

[She wonders why he's so insistent on having been asleep, but when he mentions not getting fur in her apartment, she pushes those thoughts aside. Even if he did say please, she's not sure if he's really trying to be polite or not...]

Okay, okay! I'll bring you some but if I find even a single panda hair, it's like, Vacuum City, got it?!

[She's joking. ...Kind of joking. A little bit.]

[bamboozler]

Not a single piece of fur! I understand!

[How he's turned this around to getting food...well, even he's not sure this time. But as long as he stays away from the vacuum, he's fed. It's a win-win for him, really.]

[ribbonbon]

Right. And just so you know, I'm not gonna cook it for you or anything like that. If you want anything besides just plain bamboo, you have to do it yourself.

[Even if she's trying to be nice to him, she can't be completely soft.]

[bamboozler]

You still haven't learned to cook with bamboo yet? Ehh...you'll have to learn sooner or later.

[ribbonbon]

No I won't! I'm pretty sure you're the only one who really eats that stuff around here, anyway!

[Hey, wait...]

Do you even know how to cook with bamboo? ...Or anything?

[bamboozler]

Really...? That's probably not true, but that means more for me, right...?

[He raises a paw.]

I know how to cook a little! I can make coffee from beans.

[ribbonbon]

Coffee beans...? Like, grinding them and everything?

[Even she only knows how to make instant coffee. Not to mention she can hardly stand to drink the stuff. It still kind of surprises her that Panda drinks something so grown up...]

B-But I don't know if that really counts as cooking, though, does it? Like, can you really say that making coffee and cooking food are the same thing?

[bamboozler]

Mm! I can make sandwiches and other things, too. I once ran a café for an entire day!

[ribbonbon]

You...You what?!

[She remembers him saying he had a job before, but...]

B-But I bet you had a bunch of people helping you or something, right?

[bamboozler]

Ehh...I can't give Shirokuma-san a day off if I have people help me, right? Don't worry, it's really easy.

[ribbonbon]

[Not only did he have a job, he ran a whole café on his own while she hasn't so much as worked part time. LIFE. RUINED.

Okay, maybe not, but still. It's hard for her to really comprehend.]

Are you serious?! H-How did someone as lazy as you run a whole café all on your own?!

[bamboozler]

Hmm...how did I? I wonder...I certainly don't want to do it ever again.

[ribbonbon]

[S I G H.]

I guess the second something turns out to be hard work, you don't even want to touch it, huh?

[Even if he did work hard on that Christmas party before, but...maybe he just really wanted to have a party and get gifts.]

[bamboozler]

That's right! Most of the time, anyways. I'll work harder for Polar Bear-san than I would for you.

[ribbonbon]

[Ouch.]

If you're going to offer to help out, you should be willing to work hard, no matter what! I mean, you don't get anywhere by being lazy, you know!

[bamboozler]

Pilouette-chan, Pilouette-chan...did you know I sold cars for a while? Everyone bought them because I kept sleeping on top of them!

[ribbonbon]

Wh-

A-ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Just how many jobs have you had?!

[bamboozler]

I've had a lot of jobs, Pilouette-chan! Isn't that normal?

[ribbonbon]

N-No, it's not!! Especially for someone as lazy as you!

[Then a thought!]

W-Wait, I get it! You've had so many jobs because you keep getting fired, right?! You can't hold one down so you have to keep getting new ones!

[bamboozler]

That's not it at all, Pilouette-san! Once they saw how relaxed I was at the car dealership, they promoted me to company-wide motivational speaker. Isn't that great?

[ribbonbon]

[Do you hear that, Panda? That's the sound of Pilouette screaming internally. ...And externally.]

W-w-what?! How?! You're supposed to have to actually work for things like that, not just lie around!!

[She can't help but feel like it's not fair for someone so lazy to have achieved so much.]

[bamboozler]

Don't you think that maybe the secret to success is taking it easy, never taking any risks, and being really, really cute?

[ribbonbon]

N-NO! No, I don't! That's like, the opposite of being successful! Plus, if being cute was a part of being successful, I'd be successful at everything...

[If nothing else, she at least has that. She hopes she's kind of cute anyway. There's a delicate balance to that sort of thing...]

[bamboozler]

[Panda laughs.

That's it. That's his reply. Wait, no, he'll talk, too. Just to make it worse.]

Pilouette-chan, Pilouette-chan...you'll understand one day why that's not true at all, don't worry.