6th Episode [Video]

[bamboozler]

[When Panda wakes up, he knows right where he is immediately. He has those same wings that aren’t quite cute enough for a panda. He recognizes where he is, too. He’s not far from the same building he lives in. Yep, everything is normal so far...except it’s a bit hotter than normal. Maybe he accidentally hibernated? That would explain why he’s been dreaming about home for so long! Almost like he’s been back for more than a few months. But that would be silly.

Of course, if he needs food, he has to check his room. And when that’s empty, he head’s to Shinji’s place. It’s also empty. He almost goes into Pilouette's room, but that's just asking for a vacuuming and it's too hot for that. That’s when things go from bad to worse and a panda who doesn’t know he’s been gone addresses the network. For those who know him might recognize that he’s a bit quieter than usual. That won't last long.]

...Shinji-kun is gone. It doesn’t look like he left anything behind.

[Translated: Shinji isn’t home right now. There’s no bamboo at all. Despite the video being on, Panda is fixed on something in the distance instead...]

I'm sure he doesn't want us to be sad, even if he looks like he is all the time. Instead, he probably wants us to talk about me. [The panda sighs dramatically. It's so tough, being comforting...!] It's getting really hot really quickly, isn't it...? That's not good for my fur at all. Eh...it's so much effort to be cute sometimes.

[He looks down at the journal recording him...is he sad? It's hard to tell sometimes, but he sure looks sad. Before he closes it, he makes one last confession.]

I'll be in Shinji's bed if anyone needs me. I don't really feel like walking anywhere, so someone should bring me some bamboo, right?

[And then he shuts the journal and turns to look at Penpen-san, a pretty clear indicator that Shinji isn't back home. They can make their own fun now that Shinji is gone.]

[ooc; forward-dated to a sane time on the 5th!]

Comments

[ribbonbon]

N-No, it's not!! Especially for someone as lazy as you!

[Then a thought!]

W-Wait, I get it! You've had so many jobs because you keep getting fired, right?! You can't hold one down so you have to keep getting new ones!

[bamboozler]

That's not it at all, Pilouette-san! Once they saw how relaxed I was at the car dealership, they promoted me to company-wide motivational speaker. Isn't that great?

[ribbonbon]

[Do you hear that, Panda? That's the sound of Pilouette screaming internally. ...And externally.]

W-w-what?! How?! You're supposed to have to actually work for things like that, not just lie around!!

[She can't help but feel like it's not fair for someone so lazy to have achieved so much.]

[bamboozler]

Don't you think that maybe the secret to success is taking it easy, never taking any risks, and being really, really cute?

[ribbonbon]

N-NO! No, I don't! That's like, the opposite of being successful! Plus, if being cute was a part of being successful, I'd be successful at everything...

[If nothing else, she at least has that. She hopes she's kind of cute anyway. There's a delicate balance to that sort of thing...]

[bamboozler]

[Panda laughs.

That's it. That's his reply. Wait, no, he'll talk, too. Just to make it worse.]

Pilouette-chan, Pilouette-chan...you'll understand one day why that's not true at all, don't worry.

[ribbonbon]

[Pilouette stares at her journal wordlessly seething for a moment before answering.]

Well, if you're so successful or whatever, maybe you should just get that bamboo you want so much by yourself!

[bamboozler]

Ahhh...! Don't say that, you might be cute someday, too!

[ribbonbon]

Ugh, you're so rude!! I'm totally way cute! It's not cute at all to be lazy lump of fur like you are!

[bamboozler]

I'm not a lump of fur...! I'm a lump of panda fur!

[ribbonbon]

P-Panda fur is still just regular fur! Just like dog fur or tiger fur or something.

[bamboozler]

That's not true! It's a lot cuter.

[ribbonbon]

But...panda fur is just black and white. That's not very interesting. Tigers have stripes! And even dogs can look different depending on what kind they are. In other words next to them, panda fur is like, kind of boring looking.

[bamboozler]

They might look different, but there's nothing cuter than the way panda fur looks! In fact, the word for cute actually came from the word "panda," did you know?

[ribbonbon]

Oh, it did not! They don't even sound the same! Y-You're just making up stuff!

[She thinks he's making up stuff. She's no linguist, she doesn't know.]

And lots of things are cuter than panda fur! What about rabbit fur? Or...or penguin feathers?

[bamboozler]

Ehh...I think they sound really similar...are you sure?

[At the mention of Penguin, his cute act drops.]

Penguins aren't cute at all. They don't have a job and they date seven girls at once.

[ribbonbon]

Yeah, I'm like, totally sure.

Penguins date...what? Okay, now I know you're making stuff up! That doesn't even make sense!

[bamboozler]

Ehhh...you haven't met Penguin-san! He's a regular at Polar Bear's café. We don't know how he makes it onto the stool and he's really boring, but we're good friends.

[ribbonbon]

I'm not sure I want to meet any of your friends. Knowing you is probably more than enough...!

[bamboozler]

Hm...I think you'd like Grizzly-san!

[ribbonbon]

[Just...give her a minute. Penguin...Grizzly...No, no, it makes sense. Of course his friends are animals. He's a talking panda. That's perfectly sensible and normal. She takes a deep breath before answering him.]

...And why do you think I would like "Grizzly-san?"

[bamboozler]

You both get angry really easily!

[ribbonbon]

I DO NOT GET ANGRY EASILY!

...I...I mean I don't get angry easily. I'm like, totally in control. But certain pandas need to watch what they say sometimes...!

[bamboozler]

Ehh...?! I'm always careful about what I say! Everything I say is cute and honest.

[ribbonbon]

More like everything you say is totally annoying...! You're not honest, you're plain rude! And it's like, not cute at all!