bamboozler | episode 1 [video]

Yaaaaay! I found it! [This is Panda’s first time using his journal on his own. It’s so cool!] It’s just like a smartphone...eheh. Everyone can see this, right? I finally found my panda notebook! Anyways, I don't really know any of you that well...it's been so hot that I've been eating bamboo in my room all day.

[And that’s how this trainwreck starts. Panda is filming himself holding a notebook he picked up that’s shaped...like a panda. There are clearly things written inside, and he seems to be eager to share what he wrote down.]

Let’s see...where should I start...Did you know Wolverine really likes kids? I’ve never met a wolverine before... [Oh. Oh no. Panda wrote down what the trees told him.] Shinji has the hots for his roommate...I think I’ve met him before! Ehh...he’s kind of scrawny though. [Flip. Flip.] Masaomi doesn’t like boobs at all, but he really likes legs! Isn’t that really strange? And this Yun girl knows everyone’s secrets...Ahaha! That sounds like a fun superpower!

[And then, the Panda shuts his notebook. He must be out of them...but then he reaches for a second notebook. Apparently, he didn’t do a very good job of organizing them. He’s still got dirt to spread.]

Shikamaru likes to sing in the shower with his roommate. Eh...but is that a cute girl...? There’s someone named Gold, too, and he’s never even been kissed...that’s really sad, isn’t it? [He flips to another page. He’s got plenty of random things written down.] They also told me that Adell hates women, especially harpies. Ehh...it seems like everyone doesn’t like them, huh. I also heard that Yotsuba is missing a few crayons from her box! Isn’t that just awful? And Pilouette-chan is a gang leader! Uwaaaah! That’s so scary, isn’t it? She’s the meanest!

[And then he shuts his notepad. He’s done for real this time.] Ehh...I don’t know most of those people, though. These panda notebooks are just super cute, aren’t they? Just like me. [He laughs, moving his notebook so everyone can see.] I had almost forgotten about all of these facts, too...! Hey, does anyone else have any embarrassing secrets they’d like to share? I can write them down for you!

[ooc; And this is Rune, off of hiatus! o7 It's good to be back.]

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Uwaaaaaah! You're such a bad person! I always knew you had it in you, Pilouette-chan!

[He's not going to elaborate.]

[Rudest panda ever.]

I am NOT a bad person! Like, seriously, do I look like a gangleader to you?!

Maybe if you wore more leather.

No, it's too late! Aaaaaaaah! I can definitely see it! You are a gang leader!

I AM NOT! I am totally nice and well behaved! Ask anybody! You're like, totally going to ruin my reputation!

Do you really believe that?

Of course I believe it! You're like, totally lucky that I'm as well behaved as I am!

[She grits her teeth.]

Because if I wasn't so totally nice and ladylike, you'd really be in for it.

Aaaaaaaah! Please don't hurt me! You're always so angry, Pilouette-chan!

I am NOT always angry! I'm only angry when certain SUPER RUDE pandas start saying SUPER RUDE things about me to like...everyone. Where are you even hearing this stuff, anyway?!

You were so violent when we first met, too! You're my least favorite neighbor! You definitely have a gang, too! They all wear leather and ride motorcycles.

I wasn't violent, I was just defending my stuff from some strange, nosy bear! My least favorite bear EVER.

[Least favorite out of the whole two bears she's ever met.]

And I don't have a motorcycle gang! But if I did it would just mean that lots of people thought I was super cool and popular and stuff. You must think so, too, if you really think I'm the leader of a biker gang, huh?

[She grins a little. How's that for a counter attack, bear?]

Hmmmm...no, it would just mean you threatened everyone into becoming your friend. You're so cruel, Pilouette-chan! How could you do something so mean like that?

[Counter attack unsuccessful.]

I'm telling you, I didn't! I knew you were annoying, but I didn't think you were the kind who goes around spreading lies about people. You're like, totally a bad per- er, bear.

I'm a bad guy now?

[...]

That's right! I never look at the past. A bad guy only looks forward...to dinner.

[It takes her a moment just to comprehend that response. Just...what.]

Of course you'd look forward to dinner. Like, do you do anything else besides eat and lay around?

[And say rude things?]

What kind of question is that? Sometimes, I write things down. Ah, and yesterday, I almost made it down the stairs.

You almost made it down the stairs? How do you almost get down the stairs? What, like, did you go down a couple steps and give up or what?

I made it to the kitchen instead! There were a lot of things in there that weren't bamboo, but they were fine for just one meal.

[Hopefully, Pils doesn't store things in there...]

And I bet you got into everyone else's food without even asking, huh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

[Not that there was all that much distinction between people's groceries, but considering who she's talking to, she's willing to pick at him anyway. And God help him if he got into her sweets.]

Ehhh? Everything is free here, so it's not look I took anything.

[Gah, he has a point...!]

W-Well, it's still inconsiderate! Like, what if someone cooked something and was saving it for later? You know?! But if you already did it, I guess there's nothing I can do about it...Ugh.

If they forgot about it, though, I'd just be helping them out by taking care of it, right? Yay!

You sure are good at making excuses, you know that..?

Thank you! That's very nice of you, for such a mean person.

That's like, not a good thing! And if you think I'm so mean, then maybe you'd better watch it!

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bamboozler - 2012-08-26 13:35 (UTC) - Expand

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