bamboozler | episode 1 [video]

Yaaaaay! I found it! [This is Panda’s first time using his journal on his own. It’s so cool!] It’s just like a smartphone...eheh. Everyone can see this, right? I finally found my panda notebook! Anyways, I don't really know any of you that well...it's been so hot that I've been eating bamboo in my room all day.

[And that’s how this trainwreck starts. Panda is filming himself holding a notebook he picked up that’s shaped...like a panda. There are clearly things written inside, and he seems to be eager to share what he wrote down.]

Let’s see...where should I start...Did you know Wolverine really likes kids? I’ve never met a wolverine before... [Oh. Oh no. Panda wrote down what the trees told him.] Shinji has the hots for his roommate...I think I’ve met him before! Ehh...he’s kind of scrawny though. [Flip. Flip.] Masaomi doesn’t like boobs at all, but he really likes legs! Isn’t that really strange? And this Yun girl knows everyone’s secrets...Ahaha! That sounds like a fun superpower!

[And then, the Panda shuts his notebook. He must be out of them...but then he reaches for a second notebook. Apparently, he didn’t do a very good job of organizing them. He’s still got dirt to spread.]

Shikamaru likes to sing in the shower with his roommate. Eh...but is that a cute girl...? There’s someone named Gold, too, and he’s never even been kissed...that’s really sad, isn’t it? [He flips to another page. He’s got plenty of random things written down.] They also told me that Adell hates women, especially harpies. Ehh...it seems like everyone doesn’t like them, huh. I also heard that Yotsuba is missing a few crayons from her box! Isn’t that just awful? And Pilouette-chan is a gang leader! Uwaaaah! That’s so scary, isn’t it? She’s the meanest!

[And then he shuts his notepad. He’s done for real this time.] Ehh...I don’t know most of those people, though. These panda notebooks are just super cute, aren’t they? Just like me. [He laughs, moving his notebook so everyone can see.] I had almost forgotten about all of these facts, too...! Hey, does anyone else have any embarrassing secrets they’d like to share? I can write them down for you!

[ooc; And this is Rune, off of hiatus! o7 It's good to be back.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No, I think this one is the most fitting of all.

What? Where ya gettin' this stuff from?

Everyone at the grocery store was talking about it. Isn't it old news?

[Translation: "I fell asleep near the grocery store and the trees kept talking about people."]

... She ain't ever said nothin' like that.

[Geez Louise, how'd he miss overhearing this? He briefly wonders whether his impression of Pils is off-base before shaking off the thought after a moment.]

Iunno. [Maybe this panda guy misunderstood something?]

Ehh...isn't this something you don't want people to know? You know her, right? You have to admit, she has a pretty bad temper...

She might a' freaked out a couple times over somethin'-- [And he doesn't mean it in the 'fiercely angry' sense.] --but... she's been real nice t'me. Wouldn't hurt a fly.

But she hurts pandas! Don't you think that's a lot worse, hurting such cute pandas?

...She hurt ya? [There has to be some sort of good explanation, right? It sucks, not knowing the full story.]

When I first came here, I was really lost, you see. So I wanted to find some bamboo to replenish my strength. I asked Pilouette-chan for some, and she hit me with her vacuum instead!

Maybe... y'scared her. I mean, back where we're from, pandas don't talk an' they can prob'ly mess you up real bad with one slap a' the paw.

Ah...you're the kind of person who would hit a lost, confused panda, aren't you?

What?? No, man, I'd prob'ly be runnin' away. Or helpin' the panda out if I was sure it ain't gonna hurt me.

See? I definitely wasn't attacking, so only someone really mean would attack a panda first.

[He can't help but think to defend Pils since she IS his friend, after all. It's a jarring, bizarre image, Pils the lawbreaker.]

Didjya scare her? Sometimes people attack when they're freaked out, right? I mean, some people, y'make 'em jump, an' the first thing they do is hit ya without thinkin'.

[While it is personal, it wouldn't hurt to hear her side of the story.]

Maybe I should jus' ask 'er m'self.

Hmm...just be careful. If she's in a bad mood, she might try to vacuum you up.

[T-thanks? Oh, Mr.Panda.]

Hey, I might be a small guy, but I don' think I'd fit in one a' them vacuum tubes.

Ehhh...maybe her eyesight isn't very good, because she tried it on me.

Yeah... iunno. But, uh, sorry y'had a rough experience. Doin' better now?

I'm doing fine. Pandas are very good at getting by.

That's good - m'glad. So whaddya guys eat, anyway? [Since it's a talking a panda, he wonders if he guzzles 'human food' at all.] I don' know all that much about you guys.

Let's see...I like to eat bamboo shoots, bamboo sprouts, bamboo stems, bamboo branches, bamboo leaves, bamboo juice, and iced coffee!

[One of the items in this list does not belong. :I]

...Lemme guess: the coffee y'like has some kind a' bamboo in it?

Eh...what kind of coffee has bamboo in it? That's just weird.

It was kind of a joke 'cause ya- - aw, nevermind.

It's alright. Maybe you'll do better next time.

(no subject)

thelittlemacthatcould - 2012-08-26 15:37 (UTC) - Expand

bamboozler - 2012-08-26 16:06 (UTC) - Expand

thelittlemacthatcould - 2012-08-26 21:58 (UTC) - Expand