bamboozler | 5th episode [video]

[Someone has given Panda an idea. Christmas, admittedly, isn’t a big holiday for him. There are presents and sweet foods and he’s sure to exploit that every year, but he hadn’t even realized it was December in Luceti until Pilouette told him everything.

He’s blushing through his fur as he turns on his journal, ready to address his city.]

Secret Santa...! [That explains everything, right? He repeats it again.] We're having a Secret Santa for Christmas! Pilouette told me about it, and now we're going to do one. Isn't that going to be fun?

[Normally, he'd end the message there...but this is a plan that involves presents, so he starts explaining further.]

I put up a cute panda box in the lobby of building four. If you come and write your name on the cute panda paper provided and put it in the box, someone will give you a gift at my very first Panda Christmas Party! Doesn't that sound like a lot of fun? I'll even give all of you a week to sign up before telling you who have to give a gift to!

[Ahh, he can't believe it. It will be amazing. Bamboo decorations, panda-shaped cakes and cookies, cute Santa hats to make certain pandas even cuter...! And presents!]

The party is going to be on the 18th. That sounds good, right? That's a week before Christmas, so it's a perfect time for Panda Christmas. Pilouette and Shinji will be helping me, too. [Not that he's asked them yet...but it's such a good idea, how could they say no?] So, please sign up today! That's all there is to it! If anyone has questions, try not to make them too bothersome.

[ooc; This is backdated to the afternoon of the 4th. This is the IC announcement for the IC Secret Santa. You don't have to reply to be included! This is just so people can hear about it, etc.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hold on, I'm not a talking bear. I'm a panda! That sounds a lot cuter, right?

[So is Panda. Clearly, he needs to reinvent holidays more often.]

And it's Panda Christmas, not Christmas! Were you really listening...?

Talking panda bear, perhaps? I shall call you Talking Panda Bear, that is no problem for me at all, Talking Panda Bear.

[A talking bear is a talking bear...really.]

May I ask what the difference is between Christmas and Panda Christmas? Except a Talking Panda Bear?

You can just call me Panda. The other name is too long, it isn't cute at all.

[Clearly, Loki doesn't understand how being ridiculously cute works. >B(]

Ahhh, you figured it out really easily! Panda Christmas is like Christmas but with pandas!

[It seems this animal is very focused on conveying the act of being cute. Yet, Loki is not quite endeared. Puppies are cute, and kittens are cute but this bear is not very cute.]

My apologies, I might have overlooked your endearing cute charm, you see? You are very, very cute, and your large canines do not scare people off at all.

[Loki flashes the most innocent smile he can.]

Do you work for a circus of some sort?

Ahhh, now you understand! You're kind of slow, aren't you? That's okay, though, some people have never seen a panda before.

[Only Panda. Only Panda...]

I don't work for the circus. I work for the zoo. How'd you know...?

Not at all, I just proved my quick way of thinking by asking you if you worked for the circus. Basically a zoo is a circus, since it also contains trapped animals that are there for the amusement of the people of Midgard.

Therefore I am not slow.

Ehhh, I think you're wrong again. When I'm done with work, I go back home, and I get paid every other week. No one in the zoo is trapped at all, unless someone got lost.

So you entertain the people of Midgard and get paid for it? That is a great deal you have struck! My compliments.

[So he claps, very amused.]

But I shall attend your party of Panda Christmas and prepare for giving gifts.

It gets even better...! I only work two days a week. It's perfect for a panda, right?

[And here he is, sounding completely proud of himself.]

Should I make a list of people who are coming? I've never celebrated Panda Christmas before.

Utterly perfect. I might even say the pinnacle of perfect.

[Wait...so this talking panda organized a party and has no idea what to do? Oh, Loki would love to help!]

Aye. Send out invitations to the ones who you want to invite. I believe invitations are an important key to a good party. I might suggest you invite my older self as well, he is very fond of social gatherings, and he truly likes to make new friends.

I think its important to have a lot of rainbow-colored decorations in your house, Panda. After all, it conveys the spirit of Christmas perfectly.

[Except for the invitations everything Loki says is kind of total bullshit. It is not wise to listen to him.]

Right, right?

[He's only slightly clueless! He at least has the sense to set up a spot for people to sign up to attend...but other than that, he's completely open to suggestions.]

Once everyone is signed up, I'll be able to send out invitations. I already invited [forced] my friends. If you want to come, you have to put your name in the box...I'll probably forget to invite you if you don't.

[It...it kind of makes sense, since it's a volunteer party...]

Ehhh, who is your older self? Your father? I think rainbow decorations will distract from the panda decorations...what do you think of rainbow panda decorations?

Right!

[Loki nods.]

I have been slow enough to understand such a thing, yes. So I will.

[He folds his hands and grins lightly.]

My older self is myself but only from another universe. And he is older, you see? We have the same name.

[Rainbow panda decorations, huh?]

I think that is excellent. They have to be present in vast quantities otherwise your feast will not have the desired impact on others. Also big inflatable rubber round object called balloons. And a lot of food. Food is essential.

Especially rainbow food. Like the candy Midgardians call Skittles.

...Another universe? Things like that are too complicated. I'll just pretend he's your father. It's easier.

[He has to mull over the rest of the instructions for a second.]

Ehh...balloons aren't really what I'm looking for in Panda Christmas. They'll take too much time to inflate. There will be plenty of food, though.

No. Laufey is my father, my older self is my older self. That is a lot easier.

Speaking about being terribly slow.

[Loki has both eyebrows raised now, the thought of his older self being his father is kind of depressing, really.]

A feast is no feast without balloons.

I like my version more. It's more dramatic.

[He's rewriting history...! This can't be canon!]

Ehhh...why would you want to eat balloons? I don't think those are good for you. You might want to stop.

[Loki shakes his head.]

Apparently you have never experienced true drama if that is your definition of something dramatic. It would be way more dramatic if my older self would be my father and he did not know I am his son and vice versa. And eventually we would discover such a thing there will be a lot of tears and sorrow that will make at least 89 percent of the maidens weep even more tears, yes?

That is dramatic. Very, very dramatic. It is called a soap series. It is unbeknownst to me why Midgardians refer to soap.

[No Panda, no.]

Huh? I have never told you that I wish to eat balloons, right? Right. I am merely pointing out that a party would be no fun without balloons.

Fun differs from food, you see?

Soap series...? I wonder if my mom watches those. It sounds like something she'd enjoy...

You said a feast isn't complete without balloons. If you just want them on the side, then that's okay.

Well, thing is that elderly women, or...in your case elderly panda bears of the female gender, are quite fond of these soap series. You are correct about that.

[Loki nods firmly.]

Excellent. I am glad we are able to see eye to eye about the presence of inflatable objects on your party.

[He chuckles.]

You are most amusing.

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